Persistent
by Dragons Quill
Summary: What if Tris didn't die, what if she lived? How would things be different and how would things stay the same? This is a version of events where instead of going, Tris stays to see out the remainder of her life. This is how I believe that the story should have ended. Hope you all enjoy!
1. How it should have been

**Persistent**

Summary: If you have not finished Allegiant, don't read this, it has spoilers. If you have read it than you know that as good as the last few chapters were, they were missing something important. This is my answer to what should have happened at the end of the book.

Tris survives her time in the Weapons Lab and this is the story's ending where she does not die and can choose to mend her relationship with her brother and move forward with Tobias, hopefully in a healthy way.

T for now for situations and themes, and you should at least be a teen to have read the books. May turn M eventually, but I don't know yet, it depends on how the story and its characters write itself.

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Legal stuff: On the topic of the Divergent series, I don't own any of it; I didn't write it, and the writing of this fan fiction story with characters that are not mine is not making me any money.

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 **A/N:** I am well aware that in most situations revolutionaries don't always survive to finish out and see what they set out to do. And sadly as much as I hated to see Tris die, it was realistic and it was at least with dignity. As someone who sees the ebb and flow of the reality as written in the Divergent books, it was almost inevitable (we had already lost quite a few main characters along the way, it was just a matter of time before one or both of our beloved main character's streaks of luck ran out). As a reader and one who whishes every story had a happy ending, I hated watching Tris die and felt that empty hollow ach experienced by Tobias as he was learning to live without in the aftermath of her death. As a fanfic writer I can make an effort to right what I feel are the wrongs done to these two characters or at least to their future together.

I do not claim to be Veronica Roth, nor claim to write her characters as well as she does. I only claim to have written the rest of Tris' life and not her death. I wish to give her a chance in the brave new world she has helped to birth. So this is my answer to Tris's death.

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 **A/N:** l didn't actually expect to ever write anymore fanfic. My life got quite busy with lots of things. But it would appear that after deciding to stop writing fanfic a few years back the bug never quite left me and now I am back, at least for now with a new story in another fandom that that last few that I wrote. I could not let Tris die without taking a stab at saving her. I hope you all enjoy and please leave a review, it makes my day all the better to know if you guys like what I write.

AN: In this first chapter I have taken a chunk of direct quotes from the book and the chapter that contains Tris' death. In this chapter if it is in italics, it is not mine and was copied directly from the book into my computer. The last line that I copied, I only took part of and wrote in regular from that point on. That which is not written in italics is all I can claim as my own for this chapter.

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 **How it should have been**

 **Tris**

Chapter 1

 _I hear a beep, and a churning sound._

 _I slide to the floor. I feel something warm on my neck, and under my cheek. Red. Blood is a strange color. Dark._

 _From the corner of my eye, I see David slumped over in his chair._

 _And my_ mother _walking out from behind him._

 _She is dressed the same clothes she wore the last time I saw her, Abnegation gray, stained with her blood, with bare arms to show her tattoo. There are still bullet holes in her shirt; through them I can see her wounded skin, red but no longer bleeding, like she's frozen in time. Her dull blond hair is tied back in a knot, but a few loose strands frame her face in gold._

 _I know she can't be alive , but I don't know if I'm seeing her now because I'm delirious from blood loss or if the death serum has addled my thoughts or if she is here in some other way._

 _She kneels next to me and touches a cool hand to my cheek._

" _Hello, Beatrice," she says and she smiles._

" _Am I done yet?" I say, and I'm not sure if I actually say it or if I just think and she hears it._

" _My dear child you have done so well…" her eyes bright with tears_. "I love you so very much, but no, you are not done yet. You have much life to live and a man who loves you so very much. father and I can wait a bit longer to hold you again. Go back and live your life and embrace it, embrace your future and those who love you, and make peace with your brother, he needs you as much as you need him. Goodbye my dear child, until we meet again. Live and be brave." She bends down and she kisses the side of my cheek and then she is gone and the darkness that has been creeping at the edges of my vision finally pulls in and the world goes black.

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 _ **A/N:**_ Well I hope you all liked my latest offering of fan fiction. I know I have enjoyed writing this so far and don't know how long this will end up being, but I know that I hope to get the story to a satisfactory ending where our two favorite main characters survive and thrive together. I already know that there have been a few surprises they have already pulled on me in the writing of the story so far. I know that this has been quite a short little chapter, without much of my own content, but I can promise you that there are some much longer chapters ahead with lots and lots of my own content. I felt that I needed a solid grounding from the book as a jump off point to keep the flow of the book and make it sound most plausible. After this there is only one chapter from Tobias' point of view that is so closely tied to the book, where he discovers what has happened while he was away in the city. After that you can enjoy all sorts of original content with our lovely pair.

Drop me a review to let me know how you liked it. I am planning on posting at least once a week, but hey you never know, if I get a whole bunch of reviews, I might just post faster. In the mean time feel free to go check out some of my other works and let me know what you think of them. Reviews make the fan fiction writers very happy and can sometimes act like miracle grow to our writing abilities. Enjoy. Live, Laugh, Love ~Dragons Quill


	2. The Consequences

**A/N:** OK so, I said I would post again in a week, but it really was such a short little chapter that I figured another little chapter wouldn't be a bad thing. Besides I hope to use Friday as my posting day, so this will bring it up to date. I hope you enjoy this chapter, even though it is so short.

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 **The consequences**

 **Tris**

 _Chapter 2_

There are the muffled sounds of footsteps beating against the stone floor. The far off sounds of yelling and shouts. What they say or mean I don't know and I can't say I really care at that point. All I know is pain and darkness, that thin line where consciousness is to be touched but not grasped but the complete darkness of death and relief will not come. I feel things going on around me, but nothing distinct until I feel someone push my shoulder to lay me on my back. I groan in pain and exhaustion. There is a loud shout and a flurry of activity. I feel as someone moves me more and the prick of a needle at my neck and it is the darkness that wins the battle again.

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A/N: ok, ok, that was kind of mean, just a whiff and a teaser of what is going on. But I promise you the next chapter is much longer. Chapter three: A brother's bravery, is well over 2500 words before any added notes. I have debated for a while about which of the chapters to put as chapter two, but as the story developed it became clear that since we will not be hearing from Tris again for a while that her chapters had to be first.

I hope that you are all enjoying this most recent of fan fictions that I have written and will leave a lovely review down below. To see all the lovely hits is nice, but a review really makes my day. I am not sure how long this story will be yet, but so far it is looking to be a ten plus chapter fic as it has been developing along. So hope you all enjoy what I have written so far and let me know. Live, Laugh, Love. ~Dragons Quill


	3. A Brother's Bravery

**A/N:** I hope that you are al enjoying what I have written, and thinks to those who have read this far with the first two chapters being so very short. And just as I promised, this is a much longer chapter. here we see what happens when Tris leaves Caleb in the hall and runs for the Weapons Lab. This is his account and my version of how things went down in the Lab. Enjoy!

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 **A Brother's Bravery**

 **Caleb**

 _Chapter 3_

The guards seemed to believe Tris, that I was her prisoner, her hostage. They did not understand that she was both setting me free and binding me with her plea, her demand. She would go in my place, she would brave the death serum… _she would not lead me to my own execution_ …. They didn't shoot me and I lay curled on the floor, with my hands over my head as they thundered past, gunshots loud in the small enclosed space.

I tried to catch my breath and take it all in. I was to live, she was to die, and I was to tell Tobias that she loved him and did not wish to leave him. She had said he would understand the rest, even if I didn't. But I think I do. She doesn't want to die and she foolishly thinks that she might survive the death serum, and as much as is would like to believe that, I am unsure. I know that she is one of the strongest Divergents there were in the city, and that Jeannie Mathews was very interested in seeing why and how. I know she can withstand even the strongest of the simulation serums, but the death serum; that I don't know anything about, that scares me. I only know that she loves me and has forgiven me and how much I love my sister despite the differences that we have had. And now there will be no way to ever tell her or show her any of that, and it makes me very sad.

I don't have much time to contemplate what is going on though. I would seem that she had reached the Weapons Lab as there were a few more gunshots in the near distance followed shortly by an almost deafening blast in the tunnel of the hallway. I cover my ears, but they still ring and I feel the percussion wave through the floor.

The pressure wave makes me disoriented and I don't know how long it has been when I hear more muffled gun shots. I don't know how long it takes for the death serum to take effect, nor do I know how long the effects will linger in the air before it is not longer lethal. But I don't really care at that moment. I just know that someone or something has survived in order to make the guns go off again and I have to see if it is my sister, was she strong enough to survive?

As I rise off the ground there is a light mist that is coming down the hallway towards me and I know that it is either the death serum, or the memory serum. I don't know which and it frightens me, but I must know; I must see if my sister lives. As I prop myself up on the wall and begin to shakily walk towards the source of the mist and see where the bullets ricocheted and buried themselves in the walls. There is blood and bodies as I get closer. Some are dead, some still move and there are trails of blood and footprints that lead deeper towards the vault. I pause and take it all it. There are those that still move or groan from the floor, so this must not be the death serum, but the memory serum, and I am at least immune to that.

Taking a steadying breath, I look around the hallway for the cameras that I know must be somewhere nearby. They have lots of cameras here, much like they do in the city, some well hidden and some more conspicuous. Here I see both, as this is the way to the Weapons Lab, they would keep this place closely monitored. "George!" I call out, looking at one of the cameras I hoped has not been disabled by the blast. "George! We need medical attention down here! We need Medics! And they need to be inoculated for the memory serum, NOW!" I call out to the air that is now getting thicker by the minute as the memory serum is pouring out of the Weapons Lab ahead of me.

Not knowing what else to do or if my plea had been heard I decide that if my sister is alive the medics can do a better job than I can, and if my plea has not been heard I must make sure it will be. I turn and go away from my goal, calling out my same plea every few steps. I notice that the thickness in the air follows me, but after a few feet it begins to thin, drawn away into the air vents until there is only a creeping fog near the floor that thins out as I move away from the Weapons Lab.

I don't know how long it takes, or really how far I have gone, but suddenly there is a great deal of sound and commotion coming down the hall. There seems to be a small army of people in white clean suits running down the hall, each wearing a ventilator strapped to their back. I know I am relieved to see medics, though I am worried that they may and that they may not get the memory serum into their system. They needed it to forget, but they need to remember who they are in order to save my sister, if she still lives. I am torn briefly and decide that my sister is the most important thing at the moment; the consequences could be faced later.

"This way!" I call and begin to walk quickly back in the direction that I came, the disoriented feeling leaving with the surge of adrenaline and relief. I can see where there are a couple that want to reach out and stop me, but I manage to evade their grasping hands, urging them forward towards the vault where my sister may yet be alive.

I was able to run again and weaved between the blood and bodies strewn along the hallway as I got closer to the vault. I had to slow down when I got to the area where the blast had ripped through the doors, carefully going around pieces of glass, metal and shrapnel buried into the walls and all over the floor.

That is when I saw what lay beyond. David slumped over in his wheelchair, and my sister lying in a pool of blood on the floor, her own blood; the machine above my sister pumping out memory serum into the air. My world stood still. David had the gun next to the wheel chair and it appeared that it was Tris that had been shot. She had made it through the death serum, just to be shot by David, there was something so incredibly wrong with that thought, and it was beyond my current processing abilities. There was a shout behind me as I stood there in the center of the doorway taking it all in. I couldn't move; I couldn't do anything. The medics first went to David, checking for a pulse and evidently finding one. The few medics that had made it this far began to wheel him out past me and there were a couple that were milling about looking at the things in the room, not paying attention to my sister. They believed she was dead; they hadn't even checked for a pulse.

In a daze I found myself beside her, not even sure how I got there. I sank to my knees beside her, ignoring the fact my knees and legs would be soaked in blood. She laid on her side, her face pale against the dark blood that it lay in. Her own blood, her own life drained out beside her on the cold stone floor, her hair drenched on one side. I reached out with a sob and clutched her shoulder, not knowing what to do. It is a very empty and frightening feeling for someone who loves knowledge so much.

In my grief I must have pushed her shoulder enough to lay her on her back and that is when I hear it. A groan, a whimper of pain; not loud, but loud enough to know that it comes from her as she moves her head to first one side and then the other, weakly, but with choice and strength, the strength of being alive and not dead.

I call out harshly and loudly to those who can still hear me. She lives, she must be helped, and she must be saved! Those nearby push roughly past me, running their hands over her neck to feel a weak pulse and then pulling back her shirt to reveal her chest and a bullet hole near it's center, it is still bleeding and all I see is the dark redness of it against the paleness of her skin.

I am terrified and elated, she lives, but for how long? She begins to move about more and make the most horrific noises that I hope to never hear again from anyone or anything. The blood flows more freely as she moves. There is a needle brought out from somewhere and stuck into her neck and she moves no more. There is a flurry of activity around her as articles to help slow the bleeding and plug the hole are produced. A cot is brought in and she is placed on it and whisked away. I stand a few feet away where I have been pushed back by the medics attending to her. I am both panicked and numb at the same time, it is as if time is moving in slow motion and I can only grasp a moment before the rest of the time whizzes by so fast it is impossible to acknowledge.

"Where are you taking her!?" I asked in a panic stricken voice as they rush away with her. "Will she live?"

"We gave her a sedative. They are taking her to immediate surgery. I do not know if she will live. There is no way to tell at this point. She has lost a lot of blood and there is no way to know where the bullet is lodged at this time." One of the medics said putting his hand on my shoulder and looking at me through the respirator, his voice muffled but audible. I am not sure when he came to stand next to me, but he was there now and seemed to have the information I needed.

"What can I do?" I asked.

"If you are inclined to pray than do so. That is the only thing that can be done now." He said looking at me through the visor. "As for this," he jabs his thumb over his shoulder at the machine still spewing out memory serum into the compound, erasing memories throughout. "I believe we leave it to its work."

I must look dumbfounded, as he helps to steer me towards the door and away down the hallway I had just come down. "There have been many in the Bureau, at least among the medical staff for quite some time, the belief that the Genetically Damaged and the Genetically Pure really isn't there, there are just differences in people. Some are good, some are bad and some are in between. Much of the damage we did to ourselves has been corrected in the last eight or ten generations since the beginning of this experiment and that we need to all move on to make sure that we all can live together on this planet in peace and prosperity. This is just one step towards making that happen.

There are a few more people in on your scheme that you believed. Matthews has not worked on his own for much of this, even though sometimes he thinks he has. There have been a few of us who caught wind of things through networks that exists among us that even the government hasn't figured it out. Most of the medics that believe in what you and your friends were doing have been inoculated. And they will see to your sister. They will do what they can to save her. David may have many minions, but not all are who were loyal to him. A few of us have been biding our time and waiting. It was the appearance of your little band from the city that helped to give us the ability to help move our own agenda of equality along."

I was not entirely able to process all of what he was saying. It was all sort of muddled and foggy. It wasn't the effect of the memory serum, but the shock that was beginning to set in. My head that was already swimming felt even lighter and I was walking along woodenly beside this man as he was guiding me through the halls and stairwells. I was dimly aware we were headed towards the hospital section of the building. I was not quite sure how long the walk took or exactly when we got there, but presently we were.

"Why don't you sit right here for a minute?" The man said as we neared what I knew to be the hospital area, though this part was unfamiliar to me. He had steered me into what appeared to be a lounge or waiting room, with couches, tables and a plant next to a darkened window, the specters of snowflakes dancing on the other side of the glass. He had taken off his mask as we got closer to the hospital area. He was a young man, perhaps in his thirties and walked with a bearing of someone who knew what they were doing. "I will go see what is going on." He pressed a cup of water into my hands from a water cooler to one side of the room.

"What about my sister?" I croaked, my limbs ached and I sank into the couch, not really feeling as my drying, blood soaked pants stuck to my legs as I sat and oblivious to the bloody hand prints I was leaving all over the fabric, even as I took the offered water and absently drank it.

"I will go and get some information for you." The man said. "Sit here and wait for me. Drink some water and wait here so I can find you again."

"She needs blood. I want to give her some of mine." That thought suddenly popped into my mind and I grasped it almost painfully. It was as if my mind suddenly noticed the blood covering me and reminding me that it was not my own, but my sister's. She had lost so much. She would need more to survive this surgery where she would lose more. If blood was what she needed to survive, I could help provide that for her, we were of compatible blood type. I had known that since her time in the Erudite headquarters. It was well known what blood type she was and I knew my own and what it was compatible with. "I can at least give her that!" I knew I could not make her go back on the decision to go in my place, but I could help support her through this time so she might survive in any way that I could. If that meant opening up my veins and letting her take my blood, my life force, than that is what I would do.

"I will go see about your sister." The man said gently. "And I will talk to a nurse about your offer. I am sure it would be very useful to the doctors if they need it." He handed me another glass of water, which I drank absently and then left the room. I was alone with my thoughts, alone with my worries and alone with my fear that I would lose my sister as well; the only family that I had left.

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 **A/N:** Oh dear, poor Caleb. He does have a conscience. I don't really know what to except from Caleb yet. He keep showing up on the story, but if he will get his own chapter again or not is unclear. Perhaps after seeing what Tris did for him, and the whole Bureau, he might turn out to be an ok kind of guy after all. As I keep writing he keeps developing and we shall see where he ends up.

Well hope you all enjoyed the chapters so far, I know I have enjoyed writing this fic. So now we have seen what happened to Tris and Caleb, next chapter will be Tobias returning to the compound and an explanation about the medics and their relationship with the memory serum. And remember a review is always appreciated; it is wonderful to know if you guys like my story or if it bombs. I get to see all the lovely hits, but to know if you buys like it is unknown. Oh well, I will stop fishing and hope you all enjoyed it and I will be back again next week with the next chapter. Live, Laugh, Love ~Dragons Quill


	4. Deasperate Measures

A/N: once again I am taking some direct quotes from the book and using it as a spring board to help the story fuse with the original. If it is in italics for the first part of this chapter than I didn't write it, otherwise what is written regular is where I have taken and ran with my own thoughts and ideas of how things happen when Tobias returns to the Bureau and finds out what has happened. There are also places that I have skipped different parts of the chapter for a better flow they are denoted by (…). There are also a couple quotes from after her death when Tobias and Caleb speak again, and they will also be italicized when they are taken directly from the book.

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 **Desperate measures**

 **Tobias**

 _Chapter 4_

 _As we walk into the compound, I know for a fact that Caleb succeeded, because there is no one in sight. That can only mean that they have been reset, their memories forever altered._

" _Where is everyone?" Amar says._

 _We walk through the abandoned security checkpoint without stopping. On the other side I see Cara. The side of her face is badly bruised, and there's a bandage on her head, but that's not what concerns me. What concerns me is the troubled look on her face._

" _What is it?" I say._

 _Cara shakes her head._

" _Where's Tris?" I say._

" _I'm sorry, Tobias."_

" _Sorry about what?" Christina says roughly. "Tell us what_ happened _!"_

" _Tris went into the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb," Cara says. "She survived the death serum, and set off the memory serum, but she… she was shot." …_

 _Most of the time I can tell when people are lying, and this must be a lie,… she won't leave me here alone, she wouldn't go to the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb._

" _No," Christina says, shaking her head. "No way. There must be some mistake."_

 _Cara's eyes well up with tears._

 _It's then that I realize: Of course Tris would go into the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb._

 _Of course she would._

"She is in emergency surgery right now." Cara croaks out from behind the tears that are flowing freely down her face. "We have no way of knowing if she will survive or not. They will not tell us anything yet and she has been in there for over an hour." She and Christina are now embracing each other as they both sob heavily, and her words are becoming hard to understand as they are inter-dispersed with sobs that seem to fill and echo through the atrium.

I don't wait to hear anything more and I am running before I even realize that I am. She cannot die; she cannot leave me here all alone. She cannot die. She just can't. I love her and she loves me. She just can't die. She can't.

My feet carry me to the hospital area of the compound before I even really know what is going on or where I am going. When I get to the area where Uriah's bed is I finally stop to catch my breath and look around. I don't know where she is and I don't know where to go to find her, but I know I must, I must… do something.

"Ah, Tobias, you have returned." I hear a voice say from behind me. I spin and see a man in his mid thirties, wearing a white clean suit; much like the one Caleb was to wear to his death. "Come with me, you must be wondering where Tris is." He beckons me to follow. "I will take you to the waiting room where we will bring news." He begins to walk down the hall and pauses at a nearby intersection. "Come along." He speaks gently, but with authority.

Not knowing what else to do, and as he seems to be giving me the information I need, I follow him. "What is going on?" I ask in a tone that was like frozen steel, honed by the fear rising up inside my heart. Even in my fear landscape, with the walls closing in and the specter of my father looming over me, I had never felt this kind of fear before; the fear that I really could lose everything that I held dear, despite the meeting with my mother not hours before. At least in my fear landscape I knew I could change things to be different; here in the real world, I cannot, perhaps that is what frightens me the most. "Where is Tris? Is she ok? Will she be ok?"

"I am taking you to the waiting room where Tris' brother and friends are gathering. Tris is in emergency surgery to try to save her life. She was somehow able to survive the death serum and was shot in the chest at relativity close range. We have no idea if she will survive at this point.

We have the very best doctors available to us working on her. They are doing the best that they can to give her the best possible chance to survive. Only time will tell if they are successful." The man said stopping in front of a doorway. He does not seem to react to my hard tone, and continues in his gentle authoritative tone. "Here is the waiting room."

"When will we know more?" I ask.

"When they tell us from the operating room; the only information coming out of the operating room is the supplies requests right now. There have been no updates on her condition since they took her in, but as they are still working I would say that there is still some slim hope. Though I do not wish to excite any hope or despair at this time as we know so very little about what is going on." The way he says this he might as well have been from Candor, laying out the facts as he saw them, not giving or taking hope from before me, just the facts. But at this point information was what I craved to know and he was giving it to me and I was grateful for it.

I dumbly nod and enter the room that appears to be a lounge. Looking around I see that it is almost empty and then my eyes fall on him. Caleb is standing with is back to the door and looking out into the blackness beyond the window. I suddenly feel a great anger rise up in me, which is better than the deep panic and despair that has been creeping into my existence ever since seeing Cara stand alone with that look on her face. I reach out and grab him by the shirt collar as he turns to see who entered the room. I have him pinned against the wall before I even know I have done it.

"Why?" I yell at him. "Why did you let her do it? _Why didn't she let you die?"_

" _You think I'm not asking myself that question?" Caleb says. "She loved me. Enough to hold me at gunpoint so she could die for me. I have no idea why, but that's just the way it is." … "She told me to tell you, before… she told me that if she didn't survive, I should tell you… that she didn't want to leave you._ " He was gripping my wrists that where pinning him to the wall. "She loves you too. A lot more that I think either one of you realize." He croaked out as his bloodshot eyes filled with tears. "She wanted you to know that, even as she scarified herself."

Suddenly there was a commotion behind me, coming through the door and there were hands on my shoulders pulling me back and off of Caleb. Cara and Christina both pulling me bodily back from the coward who should have died and let Tris live. But even as they drag me back I know I would have not done much more. Hearing what may have been her last words to me struck me in the heart and made me feel very weak all of a sudden. I should have been there to protect her; I should have brought her with me to the city. I should have known she would have been that strong, that brave, to walk into death for the ones that she loves.

"Tobias!" Cara cries as they pull me away. "Now is not the time! We are all hurting, all grieving. For once the Dauntless way will help nothing. We must all wait to see what happens. Fighting among ourselves will help no one." I merely nod and shake my arms lose from their grasp and retreat to the chair nearest the door, as if it will help me hear the news faster when it comes.

There is a small gathering waiting for news, Caleb, Christina, Cara, myself. We mill aimlessly around the room or sit quietly in our own worlds. Amar must be showing the new arrivals where they will be staying and Peter, well, I am not sure where Peter is at this point and I can frankly say I don't care. He has been reset and that is what he wanted. What and who takes care of him now is not my concern at the moment. My only thought and my only concerns are with Tris. I don't know how long we all wait, but presently there is a nurse at the door and she calls Caleb.

"Caleb. You expressed an interest in giving blood for your sister." She spoke to him and he turned to the nurse.

"Yes." He said. "I want to be able to help her through this anyway that I can." He crossed the room towards me to the nurse. It is only then that I register that he is covered in drying blood, her blood. It looks almost as if he knelt in a puddle of blood. I am aware that even a little blood can look like a lot, but the amount I see soaked into his clothes is staggering. If she has lost that much blood….

"I wish to give blood as well; if it will help." I say without thinking and jumping up to stand beside him in front of the nurse.

"Good." The nurse smiles tightly. "She will need all the help she can get right now."

"I want to help too!" Cara cries out advancing towards the door.

"And me too! If I can give as well I want to." Christina said, also jumping to her feet and coming forward. The nurse looks a bit shocked with all the offers, but recovers well with another small tight smile.

"Then come with me and I will take you to the lab and we can see if it is possible." She turned on her heel and as one we follow her down the hall to another smaller waiting area. "Please wait here." She says. "Caleb, come with me and we will do you first." She leads him away to a door at the back of the waiting area. We all sit down and wait.

"Does anyone know how this works?" Cara asked after a moment. "I have never given blood. I am aware that it can be done, but I don't know how."

"They screen your blood to see if you are healthy and able to give up a certain amount of blood. Then they put you on a table and stick a big needle in your arm and let some drain into a bag that won't let it congeal. Then they do something with it and give it to the person who needed it." I said.

"How do you know so much about this?" Christina asked.

"Before I chose Dauntless it was one of the selfless things that I did with my own faction once I was big enough." I told her without much thought. "It was something selfless you could do for another person, though in some ways it felt like it was a requirement. If you were selfless and healthy you gave blood. That is just how it was."

"Oh." Was all she could say.

It was a few minutes before the nurse came back out again and called me into the next room. After pricking my finger and running the drop of blood through a machine to analyze it, it was determined that I was in sufficient health and of a compatible blood type to be able to donate for Tris. While I did not like giving blood, as it had always seemed like an obligation before, this was something different and I would gladly give her all I had to make sure she continued to live.

She led me to a table farther back in the room and strapped my arm down as I lay out. Without much fan fare there was the rubber band tied around my arm, the cold iodine swab and the sting of the needle as it pierced my arm and the accompanying ache as the tube filled with red and the bag began to collect my blood. She smiled and thanked me and then closed the curtain to the side of the bed and went to get the next person who had offered. Once she had left I let out a small hiss as I felt the needle doing its job. I had never been overly fond of needles despite the tattoos and the expert way I could dose myself with the serum for the fear landscape. They were part of life, but not a part that I relished.

"Is that you Tobias?" I heard Caleb call through the other curtain. I gave a rather noncommittal grunt as a response. I wasn't quite sure how to deal with him at the moment. He was supposed to have died and Tris lived. Now we were all wondering if she would, because he had not done what he had said he would do; but then again I am sure he also had his own feeling on the situation. I decided I would try to suspend further judgment until we were told the outcome of the surgery.

"Thank you for doing this." He said after a moment. "I can only hope that we can help her." I gave another noncommittal grunt and closed my eyes as I felt the bag draining my blood away. I felt the same way, hoping that what I was doing would make a difference and tried to relax. The more relaxed I could be the faster the bag would fill and the faster it could get to Tris.

As I lay with my eyes closed I heard as the nurse instructed Christina on what to do and to stay calm as she gave blood on the other side of the curtain. I heard her yip when the nurse poked her with the needle and then as the nurse walked away. It felt strange to be sitting so quietly in such a desperate situation, but it was the best that we could do to help. In a few minutes there was a commotion coming from the other end of the room. We could all plainly hear Cara yelling at the nurse.

"What do you mean I am not eligible to give!? You just told me I had blood that would work!" Cara was defiantly not happy about being told no.

"Yes you do, but you are injured." The nurse was heard saying. I could imagine her pointing to the bandages wrapped around her head.

"So what, I have bruises on my head! I've been through much worse and kept going. You can't let me sit here and do nothing while my friend could be dying because I can't help her." I could almost see her leaning over the nurse to get her point across.

"Yes, I am sure that you have taken much worse, but it is our rules that we don't take blood from anyone who is injured. We don't want to run the risk of even greater injury."

"Rules?! You are sitting here worried about rules!?" Cara nearly bellowed. "At a time like this!"

"I am afraid so." The nurse said as if she thought the conversation was now done and over. "Would you like to stay here and wait, or go back to the lounge to hear news when it comes?"

"I want to give blood to help my friend." She said stubbornly. "I will not leave here until I have."

"Well than you will be sitting here until that gash in your head goes away and the possibility that you have sustained a concussion has passed." The nurse said.

"What if I only gave half of what you normally take." Cara offered up, trying to wiggle here way in. "I really want to help and any drop I can provide would be beneficial. You even said so yourself when you came to the lounge, the more the better."

"That is not how this works." The nurse said. "You donate a whole unit or nothing; we don't have the capacity to handle partials. And with injuries I refuse to collect. The last thing you need to do is loose more blood than what you lost from your head wound. You will not be helping your friend get better by putting yourself in peril. That is final."

"But…" Cara began.

"No." The nurse cut in. "I will not put you in peril too. We already have enough wounded and injured to look after since this all began. We do not need you to stay on that list. That is final. You can go back to the waiting area, your friends will arrive once they have finished. If I must, I will call for back up and you will be sedated until you are compliant again."

"Fine." Cara hissed at the nurse. "I would rather not be unconscious when news of Tris arrives. I could hear her stomp out of the room and at least into the waiting area just beyond the door.

It would appear that Cara had met her match, at least for the evening. With a small huff of distracted amusement I gripped the table harder and wished I could fill my bag just that much faster.

* * *

 **A/N:** well, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I know I enjoyed writing it. This will hopefully be the last chapter that I take extensive quotes from. So far the chapters I have written after this are all mine, with references back to what has happened/will happen in the books, but no more direct quotes. I have found out quite a bit about Tobias along the way as I have been writing from his perspective. He has been an interesting character to explore. Hope you all will find him as interesting as I have as you read the next few chapters. In the next chapter we catch Tobias up on what has happened in the compound and how the plan that the group hatched was helped along from others within the Bureau.

Let me know if you like my writings. I love to get feedback, it just makes my day! If you want, go read some of my other writings, and leave a review there too. And yes, I know my first Harry Potter Fic has some spelling errors, maybe, someday, I will get around to fixing them, but for now it will stay as it is. Perhaps when I get a good lexicon I will go fix it or when I find more hours in my day. Anyway, hope you are enjoying this fic and let me know.

And for those in the US, enjoy Memorial Day weekend. Thank a solider for their sacrifice and give the veterans in your life a heartfelt thank you. Without them, the way of life that we enjoy would not be possible. And whether or not you agree with where they are or what the government has them doing, they are still risking their lives for us, the American citizens who are mostly blissfully unaware of the sacrifices and hardships that they go through on a day to day basis. So thank a solider or a veteran and pray for those who are not home with their family for whatever reason.

And for those who are not in the US and don't celebrate Memorial Day, thank a solider or veteran anyway. They are out on the front lines of whatever your government has put them on, and they are trying to keep you safe as well. A little gratitude goes a long way.

Live, Laugh, Love. ~Dragons Quill


	5. The Medic's Explaination

**A/N:** well, I hope that you are enjoying my story so far. I know I have enjoyed writing it. I know I didn't get to post last week, but I wasn't home nearly ever night last week. My poor cats must think I evaporated during the day and condensed at night under my blankets. Oh well. Here is the next awaited chapter. This is written from Tobias' point of view and catches him up on what happened and everyone else up on why our medic wasn't affected by the serum. Enjoy!

* * *

 **The medic's explanation**

 **Tobias**

 _Chapter 5_

I don't know how long we sit in the lounge after our blood is taken. We were each lead back there one slightly shaky person at a time after a whole unit of blood was taken. There had been a small meal provided for us afterwards of warm soup and sandwiches. I am sure that it tasted good, but I spared little thought for how it tasted while I worried about Tris. Cara was also provided with a meal, even though she had not given blood, much to her disappointment. Sometime after we had finished what was provided the man who had lead me to the room came back in.

"The blood you have all provided has been very helpful." He told us. "She is still in surgery and I have been told they have found the source of her bleeding and are working to correct It." The man said. "That is all the information that they have provided us with at this time and that is all I can say on her condition. Are there any other questions that you have that I may be able to answer at this time?" The man asked.

"Yes," I spoke up after a moment. "What happened at the compound, and where is everyone? I would have assumed that there would have been quite a few more people around, even though I am sure that it is the middle of the night."

"Ah yes." The man said as if he was just remembering something. "I had forgotten that you did not know what happened here while you were in the city. Let me tell you and fill you all in on what has been going on behind the scenes.

My name is Nathan. I have been head of the medial department for a bit over five years. It was a position that I inherited from my father when he retired. He was considered one of the genetically pure individuals here in the compound and was highly thought of. While he enjoyed the privileges and standing as a genetically pure individual, as he did some of his own research on his own time, he was not totally convinced of the whole genetically pure or genetically damaged status of people was correct or applicable anymore.

He had been collecting and comparing hundreds of thousands of genetic codes from at least the last five generations in the compound and did some of his own experiments with those who were willing to participate." Here he held up is hands as if to hold us back. "No these were not anything horrible, but having people do certain physical and mental tests to compare different aspects of the human physiology. No one died and no one got hurt." He explained. "These were performance tests with totally consenting adults." He assured us; perhaps we appeared that we going to make an uproar about human experiments. We had all been in one, though we didn't know it at the time.

"As he was nearing the end of his carrier he was more and more convinced that the genetically pure and genetically damaged labels were little more than just that, labels to define people according to someone else's views on the world. He became quite convinced that whatever genetic damage that was done over ten generations ago had been fixed and that there were merely good and bad people, not necessarily damaged or not.

He instilled this belief in me as I grew up and was groomed to take his position as head of the department. He had a few colleges that somehow had learned of his beliefs and those of other likeminded individuals and they banded together. They never publically or officially acknowledged this view point, just as Divergance in the city was a potential death sentence, so was a thought that did not support the purpose of the compound."

"And the fact that it was your main source of survival had nothing to do with the reluctance to say otherwise." I said with a bit of a sneer.

"I will not disagree at this point." Nathan said. "No other viable option for survival existed where what was going on in the experiments could be monitored and in some ways influenced to help those within and without. We have all made many decisions that may not be the most selfless or the best, but I, just as with my father, have chosen to stay here within the fold and hopefully help effect change from within, instead of leaving the relative safety found here and trying to have our voices heard from the outside."

I could at least see his point, even though I did not like it. Hadn't I at least tried to look the part of Dauntless leader when the opportunity to help change things from within presented itself for a second time. I had learned all too well that trying to affect change from the outside; even with a sympathetic ear was nearly impossible when there were others with more power and more clout. As much as I disliked the decision, I could at least admit that it seemed the best from the limited information that I had.

"So now I have at least given you some of my background and viewpoints I now digress to what transpired tonight.

It was relatively well known among those who felt that things needed to change, at least among the medical staff, of what you were planning on doing tonight… or last night as it were." He said glancing at his watch; evidently it was now past midnight. "Mathews was not alone in the knowledge of what was going to happen. Where do you think he got such a ready supply of serum to inoculate those of you involved?"

I hadn't thought about that. I have been so worried about the overall plan that I hadn't thought too closely about the details.

"Many of us were not happy with the idea that you guys came up with of sacrificing someone to get the job done, but we could not intervene. It would show our hand and it would lead to great suspicion among the group of you. You would have believed there was a mole and as we all learned from Nita's attempt that even the threat of death would not sway David into changing his mind. His is defiantly one that I am glad has been reset; perhaps something good may come out of this yet.

We were able to smuggle Matthews the supplies of serum that he needed and were able to inoculate ourselves with it was well. We were aware that there were those in the compound that were meant to receive the inoculants as a precaution, as they were the ones that were to deliver the serum to the cities, but we did a switch out on some of them giving them only half doses, enough to make it back to the runway safely, but not enough to stave off all of the effects of the serum once it got in their bodies.

Soon after you left there was a lock down ordered, probably in preparation for the loading and setting off of the devices to reset the cities. There was an altercation involving Caleb, Tris and Matthews in one of the hallways and Mathews was captured and beaten heavily on his way to confinement. We were able to retrieve him shortly after the recovery of the guards near the Weapons Lab. He is currently being cared for and should make a full recovery.

The next part is slightly sketchy in our knowledge. We were merely biding our time until after the device was set off. My understanding is that Tris made the decision that she had a chance to survive the death serum, or refused to watch her brother die. Other reasoning behind her choice I am uncertain of," Nathan said looking half expectantly at Caleb.

"Yes." Caleb nodded. "She claimed that she had a chance of surviving where I had none. She told me that she loved me and a message for Tobias. Then she was gone and doing what I should have done." Caleb was fighting back sobs as he finished his explanation. "I tried to get her to stop, but I was too cowardly to let her shoot me and go on."

"Perhaps it will still turn out alright." Cara offered with a heavy sniffle, her encouraging words dampened by the lack of conviction behind them.

"Well, she did survive the death serum." Nathan said. "I don't know how she did it, but she was able to resist it. We have given her the antidote after the fact, just to give her body one last thing to fight. But she was able to beat it on her own, if it was because of some physical or mental strength is unknown. I don't think at this point it matters which, only that she was able to survive.

What did stop her was David. He had somehow spirited himself away into the vault. He had suspicions that something was going to happen. I believe he thought that you were all going to steal the devices, not try to set one off here in the very heart of the Bureau. I don't think that thought ever crossed his mind, or he would have asked to be given the inoculants for that as well. We were not going to offer that thought to him when we were possibly on the threshold of a new beginning.

There was apparently some type of altercation between the two. He shot her twice, at relatively close range. Even after being shot though Tris was able to set the device off and the rest is history. Caleb here called for help and we responded. At first we thought that she was dead and did not give immediate help. But Caleb went to her and found out she was alive. She was then whisked away here to emergency surgery and now we wait on the results. We have the very best surgeons available working on her; if they can't save her than she could not be saved.

She had been very strong to have lasted this long and with such blood loss. The blood you three gave was processed in record time and made its way to the operating room I was told. Along with some of our own meager blood bank supplies it is hoped to be enough. Despite this information we are still unsure of her survival. Once again I do not hope to excite despair or hope at this point while I have very little information on her condition, but I will repeat my earlier sentiment. They are still working on her, and so that must be seen as a sign that she still lives." He paused and looked around at all the faces hung on his every word.

"Well, you all have a lot to think about for now. I will be going back to check on progress and will update you when there is more information when it becomes available. In the mean time try to get some rest, it has been a stressful day. You will all need your rest to keep your strength up, especially now that most of you are either injured or have given blood." With that he rose and left the room, leaving us all to our thoughts.

* * *

 **A/N:** I hope you enjoyed this nice long chapter. I know I enjoyed writing it. This has defiantly been an interesting write. Switching from different points of view isn't always easy, but it can be interesting to crawl into a character's head and see what is going on inside and then switch to another point of view and see the same thing play out through the filter of another character.

Anyways, next chapter will be nice and long and will explain what happened to Tris and what they had to do to save her. Please drop me a review and let me know how you feeling about my story. reviews are like fertilizer in the garden of my imagination. More fertilizer, bigger stories, less and well, drought sets in…. no fun. Oh well, until next posting. Live, Laugh, Love ~Dragons Quill.


	6. The Doctor's Report

A/N: I don't claim to be a medical expert, nor do I claim to be a weapons expert. I don't know if any of the weaponry I have explained in this chapter exists or would even work, but it works for the story and so in a few generations it might exist. As for her injuries, I have done the best I can with the bad situation that seemed to present itself in the book and keep things interesting. I have no idea how long surgery like this might take, but I made it work for the story. So as implausible as some of the explanations provided might be, take them for what they are, creative license and enjoy.

 **The doctor's report**

 **Tobias**

 _Chapter 6_

Time is fluid and can sometimes run in strange patterns, much like the water of the chasm. It thunders along, carrying bits of garbage and debris, but also soothing in its consistency. And sometimes it can pool and seem to stay still in the little pools and eddies that formed next to the main channel. It seemed that we had all been caught up in one of these little pools; unable to go back and unwilling to go forward without information. That is how it felt for the time that we all spent waiting in that accursed room until we heard the verdict on Tris, life or death.

Somewhere around the time the window began to brighten was when an exhausted looking Nathan came back into the room. I must have dozed off or zoned out during that time as didn't remember the snow piling quit so high on the window ledge and the sky being quite that bright despite the thick cloud cover and heavy snow coming down outside of the window. It would appear that there was a blizzard brewing just outside the compound, much like the storm of my emotions at that point. When Nathan arrived we all turned as one expectantly, all fearing the worst and hoping for the best. His exhausted face was unreadable at that point.

"I have been given news." He said, making sure that he had everyone's attention. "She has made it through surgery and is now in recovery in an intensive care room. She was moved there about an hour ago, they have been cleaning up and settling her since then. The head surgeon has been asked to come here and answer any questions you may have. I would ask that you don't get too carried away with what you believe her condition to be, until you have spoken with Doctor Mercer. He will be able to give you a full report when he arrives."

"Thank you." Caleb said in a pained voice. Perhaps it was the fact he still had not slept either.

"I will return shortly when Dr. Mercer arrives here." Nathan nodded and left the room.

"So she lives." Christina sobbed out. "She lives!"

"For now." Cara said, getting some very venomous looks from at least me. I did not want to hear her still suggest that she would die. I felt the slight loosening of my worry tighten back up at her declaration.

We sat in silence after that for a few minutes until Nathan and Dr. Mercer arrived at the door. Dr. Mercer looked exhausted, as if he was nearly dead on his feet and had been asked to run a marathon. I won't sure how to feel about a man in such a state working to save Tris.

"Good morning." Dr. Mercer said by way of greeting. "I have come to tell you about Tris.

When she arrived on my table she had been shot three times. One bullet was a through and through, that was in the underside of her left arm, it is to believed that injury was sustained while running away from the guards. One bullet had grazed the back of her head and buried itself in the upper right arm, just below her shoulder. She must have been ducking away with one arm raised or swinging above her head when that shot was fired. And the third bullet had an entry wound in her chest.

She had already been given a sedative and the antidote for the death serum. How she was able to survive the serum's effects at all is still a mystery and one I do not wish to speculate about at this time. The fact that she survived it is a miracle and not the major focus of what happened last night anymore. When she arrived she had major blood loss and was still bleeding significantly internally.

We immediately began pumping her with fluids and took x-rays to find the bullet in her upper abdomen while supplies were being gathered for the surgery. As we are not totally sure of what happened in the Weapons Lab we can only make educated guesses about how each bullet ended up in her body. What we do know is that it was David that shot her and he used rubber tipped, low velocity bullets, like this one." Dr. Mercer removed a small plastic bag from his pocket and showed us it's content. It was a small bullet, perhaps a 9mm. It would have been shot from a small revolver or pistol. It was made almost entirely of a hard rubber, and a small band or strip of metal on the trailing end that looked to be placed there for stability while firing.

"The bullet is designed to penetrate soft tissue and stop if it hits something hard." Dr. Mercer said. It was designed for close combat in areas such as the Weapons Lab with sensitive materials and machines around. It is designed to do damage to the human body, but not to equipment if hit. These are also shot at relatively low velocity compared to a regular bullet and are most effective at close range. Over fifty to a hundred feet they are little more than nuisance bullets and while they may penetrate will more likely cause bruising and bleeding, but no major damage. I have a son who worked in the weapons department and I have learned a lot about what weapons are in the compound. This is the bullet we extracted from her shoulder.

The bullet that entered into her chest did not end up where we expected it. She must have been leaning towards David or almost doubled over when he shot her a second time. The bullet entered in at an angel that grazed her sternum and hit a rib as it passed through. This caused that bullet to become misshaped and for a lack of a better term, tumble through her body. Her sternum is still intact and the rib that was grazed took most of the hit and has a fracture that will heal with time, but will hurt quite a bit until it finishes. There are no setting ribs and as it still resting in place, there is nothing we can do about that. I would also hazard to guess that at least the next rib above it is also heavily bruised, but with that could not be seen on an x-ray and she had a significant amount of bruising and swelling internally at this point so being that exact is beyond what we can currently diagnose.

The bullet then tumbled past her rib cage and caused significant bruising to her stomach as it passed by. It did not puncture it, but came to lodge in an upper lobe of her liver. It did not penetrate very far in, but enough to cause significant damage and was the source of her continued blood loss. We cut her open and drained the collecting blood. We then set about carefully removing the damaged pieces of her liver. The liver is a very blood rich organ and we took painstaking care to make sure that we took only what was required and to stop the bleeding as we went along to make sure she would not bleed out once we closed her back up. We used all three units of blood that you donated earlier as well as a fourth before what you gave arrived to us.

We then tended to her other wounds and stitched her back up. She was very, very lucky. Had the bullet in her liver gone another inch there would have been no saving her as it would have reached a main artery going through it and she would have bleed out long before she would have arrived on my table. As for a portion of the blood on the floor, I would hazard a guess that it came from her head wound. They tend to bleed quite heavily. Presumably the first bullet managed to graze the base of her skull and miss her spine. It did leave quite a gash that bled quite heavily and was addressed while we were determining where the chest wound bullet had gone."

"So will she live?" It was spoken by Caleb, but thought by everyone.

"I would like to say a cautious yes at this point." Dr. Mercer said after a moment's thought. "She has made it through the surgery and is now under intense observation. She is being kept heavily sedated and will be for at least the next few days. It is not uncommon to put someone in a medically induced coma such as this when they have sustained such a high degree of trauma; if they are sedated, than they are not trying to move and risking even more injury after such a surgery.

The biggest worry right now is the onset of infection or that something in her liver begins to bleed unchecked again. Other than that, it is a matter of her body healing itself. If she pulls through this next week, and she does not get an infection, than it will be just a matter of time for her ribs to heal and her liver to regenerate itself. It is amazing what the human body can take and still keep going. That is something about medicine that will always amaze me."

I let out the breath I didn't know I had been holding and my world got blurry as I must have been sobbing from relief at the news that she would live. I faintly heard and saw Caleb rise and give the exhausted doctor a hug, which was returned.

"When can we see her?" I heard Christina ask.

"Not for a couple days." Was the response. "We want to keep as many people away from her as possible to limit her risk of infection."

"What!" I cried out. "Please at least let us look at her. You have Uriah I a room with a window. Is she in one as well? I must at least see her." I had wiped the tears from my eyes so I could see clearly again at this news.

Dr. Mercer and Nathan exchanged worried glances. "I am not sure if that would be wise." Dr. Mercer said after a moment. "There currently isn't much to see of her right now. She is heavily bandaged and she is hooked up to many machines. All you would be able to see is bandages and wires at this point."

"I don't care." Was my croaked response. "I must see her; I must know that she is at least alive. I must see what I can of her."

They exchanged another glance. "Very well," Dr. Mercer said with a heavy exhausted sigh. "You may see her through the observation window only. You may not go in and be near or touch her and you must be very quiet. There are others in the intensive care ward as well. You will be allowed only five minutes and then you must leave so that the nurses can do their jobs in peace. If you agree to these conditions than you may follow me; otherwise go get some sleep, you all definitely need it."

"We agree." Christina spoke up. "We want to see her, even if there is only part of her visible. We want to see her with our own eyes."

"Very well, then follow me." Dr. Mercer said. Turning on his heel he led us through a maze of hallways and into an elevator. When we got to the correct floor he then ushered us into a ward with small rooms all facing one nurse's desk in the center. Each room was fronted in glass with a doorway set into it. Some if the beds were occupied and the curtains partially drawn while others stood open and empty.

We were lead to one room that had the curtains drawn shut. Dr. Mercer tapped gently on the glass door. After a moment a nurse came out removing her gloves and pulling down a mask as she emerged.

"Yes?" She asked as she saw Dr. Mercer and the rest of us standing nearby. "What can I do for you doctor?"

"These are Tris' friends. They wish to see her." He explained. "I told them they could look from the window and stay for five minutes at the most. Have you finished what you were doing?"

"Yes doctor." The nurse said. "I was just changing her IVs over."

"Good." Was Dr. Mercer's response. "How is her blood pressure?"

"Holding steady." The nurse said. "We can only hope that she is past the stage for bottoming out again."

"Again?" Caleb asked.

"It's called shock; she was suffering from it when she arrived on my table." Dr. Mercer said. "Now pull back the curtains and let them see her. Then these guys will need to be on their way to get some rest. I suspect they have been up well over 24 hours by now."

The nurse nodded and put another pair of gloves on and returned her mask to her face. Closing the door behind her she pulled back the curtains on the room and let us all look in to see Tris for the first time.

I was struck how small and pale she looked. I didn't remember seeing her even that fragile looking when I helped pull her from the net on choosing day. There were tubes and wires running to all parts of her body and there were many bags of differing sizes and colors hanging over her head on a pole. She had a tube in her mouth and thick bandages covered her head and both arms. What little skin was to be seen of her face was pale even against the white of the bed linens. She looked almost dead except for the rise and fall of her chest beneath the blankets.

It was then that it struck me how similar to Uriah she looked. A machine keeping her alive while the essence that was Tris was not shining through, but in the back of my mind I know that she was still with us, even though the drugs they had filled her with were keeping her asleep for now. There was still hope, there was still a chance I could hold her one more time and tell her that I love her. To tell her how empty my world would be without her; and to ask her if she would spend the rest of her life beside me as my wife. If there was anything this experience had taught me we how desperately in love with her I was and how nothing else but her seemed to matter anymore.

A/N: ah, Tobias, you surprised me with that declaration, I didn't not expect you to jump so readily at matrimony. Though, now that Tris still lives, I can't see you with anyone else.

As I said, in writing this fic I have found out many things about our lovely characters that I didn't expect along the way, and I fully expect to find a few more things out as I go along. I have a couple ends I would like to clear up as I go along and I am sure that there will be some very interesting revelations that come of that and I add a couple more characters in along the way.

Hope you are all enjoying my rendition of what happed in the lab from the doctor's point of view and that it isn't too farfetched. I know I had fun playing with ballistics and medical things. Please leave me some lovely reviews and let me know what you all think about what I am writing. It really is the highlight of my day and there is a review in my email inbox. ~Live, Laugh, Love- Dragons Quill


	7. Reflections

**A/N:** It would appear that there are quite a few chapters written from Tobias' point of view, but with poor Tris in traction she doesn't have much to say yet. But never fear, we will hear from her again soon. Hope you all enjoy the chapter!

* * *

 **Reflections**

 **Tobias**

 _Chapter 7_

The next couple days were spent in a blur. I slept heavily after passing out from exhaustion upon being shepherded back to the hotel area of the compound. Unlike the others who fell into their cots upon arrival, I was able to sneak off to be by myself with an excuse about the bathroom. Without much trouble I found the room where Tris and I had spent the night together on the couch. Where we had finally let our inhabitations get in the way no longer and had let our Dauntless sides over rule the Abnegation within us. Our first real night together.

I lay alone on the couch, feeling how cold and empty it felt without her warm body beside me and let my emotions run free in a way that I didn't think I was capable of and in some ways frightened me. Sobbing I buried my face in the cushions and brought the blanket that had been found that night close around my shoulders. I breathed deep of both, they smelled of her and a hint of our mingled sweat. Wishing it was more than just the scent of her that I was wrapped in I passed out on the couch, not to wake for some time, the trials and high emotional energy that I had expended over the previous two days finally pulling me to a halt which I could no longer fight.

When I finally woke up again, it was no longer bright out as it had been when I had crawled onto the couch, but dark outside the window. Rising to use the bathroom I found myself back on the couch, wrapped in the Tris scented blanket once again. I didn't turn on the lights and I leaned back and let the emotions and memories of the previous waking hours wash over me, carefully rewinding and cataloging them away. Some were foggy and some were painfully sharp.

The Peter that I knew was gone, the initiate, the bully, the person who saved Tris from execution and the person desperate enough to offer up a fight to forget who he was and try to start fresh.

One of my best friends in Dauntless, one of my only friends would now probably never speak to me again, and perhaps never wish to see me ever again. I had failed Zeke, I had failed Uriah and I had not only failed, but helped cause the situation that ultimately lead to Uriah's death. It had been horrible and the hardest thing in my life to that point to have to look his mom in the face and tell her that her son was dead, or was as good as dead. And then to have to tell her that I had been part of the reason that she had lost her youngest child. It was something maddeningly heart wrenching.

Then there had been the encounter with my own mother; a confrontation long in the making and long overdue. It would appear that my leaving the city and then my reappearance had caused something to change within her. Perhaps it was the fact that I had given her a choice. Perhaps choices were something that she had never really experienced before. Perhaps she had always just done what she saw as her only option before. Perhaps she was driven by the belief that she had no choice and to grab a hold of what meager hope was offered or the whiff of perceived power.

Whatever drove my mother in the past and whatever was driving my mother now, it was no longer something the city had to worry about. There had been a truce and a total reorganization back to some semblance of normalcy. Or whatever normal was going to be in the city from now on, what that was to be was still too early to tell. I would see my mother again in a few days when she left the city for good. She had chosen me and had given up the city as a result. Per the agreement she was to leave it entirely. What any of this meant for the future of our relationship together was still to be seen. There was much both sides of the agreement would have to reconcile in order for progress to be made.

Then there was Caleb. I had never liked him much. He may be Tris' brother, but that did not mean that I had to like him. In fact for quite some time I had been cultivating a deep dislike for the cowardly boy that had willingly offered up his little sister as a sacrifice to the likes of Jennie Mathews. There were things that he could have done to help keep his family safe, and I even had the nagging suspicion that he had been the one to tip off the city of our whereabouts when we had all sought refuge with Amity. There was no other way that they could have found us so quickly if there hadn't been and informant. Even Peter, who seemed to hate Tris had managed to find a way to save her from execution, right under Jennie Matthew's nose.

He was the one who was supposed to have died in the cause for the greater good. He was the one who was supposed to have dealt with the death serum. He was the one who should have been in the weapons lab to be shot by the lunatic David. Not Tris, not Tris.

He was also the one who had a hand in saving her though. He was the one who checked her, and found out she still lived. He was the one to first offer the gift of life to his sister with his own blood. He was the one who had delivered what might have been the last words ever spoken by Tris to me and not told the rest of the others. He knew the value of both our privacies. Perhaps what Tris had told me was true. The first step to forgiving others was to first admit that there is some evil inside of everyone, even ourselves. Perhaps Caleb had some good in him after all, but I still struggled to see it as I struggled to think of what Tris was and had to go through.

And then there was Tris. The last time I saw her before this happened she was radiant. Flushed with excitement and strength, she did not show much of the fear and worry I could see she carried concerning her brother's impending death. She was strong, she was brave, and she loved life. She was everything to me, and she loved me, believed I was worth being with and didn't want to leave me. I could not forget the contrast of the birds on her collar bone against the flushed skin beneath that had meet my eyes the last time I had awoken on this very same couch.

Now she lay on the other end of the compound. Pale and bound with bandages and wires, tape and tubes. She was clinging to life and there was nothing I could do other than wait to see if she pulled through. She had always been strong and brave when I had seen her, delicate in body but enormous in spirit. The last time I saw her was like looking at what I hoped would not be the empty shell of the woman I loved. She had looked paper thin and pale, like a single touch would shatter her into a million pieces, taking my world down with it. The thought sent chills down my spine and I hugged the blanket closer and inhaled deeply again; comforted by the memories wrapped within the blanket and the scent of her that still clung to it.

I must have fallen back to sleep while I was mulling things over, for when I was once again aware of my surroundings there was early morning light filtering through grey clouds outside. The snow had stopped and from what appeared to be piled on the windowsill a few inches had fallen. Winter had never been my favorite season. It had always felt desolate and empty and now the paleness of the snow reminded me again of the paleness of her skin as she lay on the white linens in the hospital bed.

Turning away from the window I carefully folded the blanket and placed it on the couch, wondering if I would return to collect it again. I just knew that if I took it back to the makeshift dorm, that it would likely get laundered and that was something I could not bear the thought of. Going back to the dorm I found that it was empty, whatever time it was had chased all the others out and to whatever task that was set before them. I gathered a few of my meager belongings and headed for the showers, intent on at least being clean. I wanted to go see Tris again, but the Dr.'s warning of infection told me that I would likely not be admitted if I smelled bad, which I did. If I wanted a chance at seeing or touching Tris than I would have to be clean to do it.

As I was returning from the showers, feeling much refreshed I ran into Christina in the hall way.

"There you are!" She cried out upon seeing me. "We have been looking all over for you this morning. We have all been very worried about you too. We have not seen you in two days, not since the night Tris was shot."

"Two days?" I asked. "It has been two days since that happened?" It couldn't have been two days. I couldn't have slept for that long.

"Yes, two days, at least since we found out she would survive." Christina confirmed. "But that is not why we are looking for you. They unplug Uriah today. Zeke and his Mom want to make sure that you knew and want you to be there when it happens, if you are up to it."

"They want me there?" I ask. "I was the one that put him in this state."

"No you didn't. You could have had no way of knowing or preventing this. It is not your fault." Christina said forcefully. "You don't have much time to make up your mind though. They are going to unplug him at one. You have an hour to decide."

"An hour? What time is it?" I asked in astonishment.

"A little before noon." Was her answer as she turned and walked away.

I really didn't give it much thought. There wasn't much of a choice. As much as I felt responsible for what had happened for Uriah, I also knew that I could not let my friend face this alone. I would at least be there and offer whatever support my presence would give when they finally let him go. I could at least do that for them.

* * *

A/N: I will skip actually writing a whole new scene for the process of Uriah's family letting him go. It was well written in the book and I don't wish to copy and change or even go into it. I can't and don't wish to try to top what was already written.

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter and leave a lovely review to liet me know if you did. The next few chapters will be a bit slower in coming, I have a couple more chapters that are partially written, but finding the time with the summer is getting a bit more difficult than I planned. But never fear I will continue and finish the fic, even if it is a bit slow. ~Live Laugh Love, Dragons Quill


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